• “It is not that discovering the absurd leads necessarily to happiness, but rather acknowledging the absurd means also accepting human frailty, an awareness of our limitations, and the fact that we cannot help wishing to go beyond what is possible. These are all tokens of being fully alive.”
In the Myth of Sisyphus, Camus writes that, “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” I don’t know that I agree that he is happy, because I don’t think that what he has achieved is happiness, I think it is more like acceptance. Camus suggests that in accepting the meaninglessness and absurdity of life, we may find happiness. By becoming conscious we open ourselves up to the pain and struggle of the human experience. However, in accepting the absurd we take ownership over our own fate, and in doing so we invite in happiness, joy, and the pleasurable experiences that go along with being alive. “This is the price that must be paid for the passions of this earth,” Camus writes. When we fully embrace life, we take on the burden of that experience as human beings. When one accepts their fate they can be free to find meaning in what remains.
For Sisyphus, Camus argues “The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.” In being entirely consumed by his task of pushing the rock up the hill, Camus views Sisyphus as happy. I feel that Camus is right that we must acknowledge that we endure an absurd struggle by simply living our life. It’s important that we have an understanding of why we are living—otherwise we too strongly resemble Sisyphus straining up the hill with his rock, with none of the satisfaction that Camus suggests. We must remember that we are living for ourselves. Camus argues that our lives should be lived for ourselves, and not for a higher power, as he believes that there is none to “appeal to.” He views life as meaningless and that we must conquer absurdity by “living fully and with vitality” without trying to understand a deeper meaning, as there is none to be found. However, I feel that humans have the intrinsic ability to create meaning where it appears there isn’t any—that is why we have spirituality, culture and creative expression of all kinds. It is our nature to want to understand and express ourselves as well as others and seek meaning in our existence. Even if there isn’t an afterlife, our experience as humans is so powerful and intense, and we have such an ability to live within the moment—so is our physical and emotional state so meaningless in the grand scheme of things when it is of such great importance to us during our lifetime? A day, an hour, or even a few minutes can feel like an eternity if you are that desperate for the time to pass.
I agree with Camus that “If this myth is tragic, that is because its hero is conscious… The workman of today works everyday in his life at the same tasks, and his fate is no less absurd. But it is tragic only at the rare moments when it becomes conscious.” As Camus points out, the Myth of Sisyphus is tragic if indeed Sisyphus feels tragically about his situation — as he strains to push the boulder up the mountain, or during his descent, if his thoughts echoed the apparent mediocrity and futility of his task, it would no doubt lead to significantly more suffering. I am reminded of the fundamental principle in Buddhism that “life is suffering” — as part of being human, we experience physical and emotional pain that is a necessary accompaniment to happiness, love, and pleasure. As Camus writes, “…his passions for life won him that unspeakable penalty in which the whole being is exerted toward accomplishing nothing.” So we inevitability experience the difficult parts of being a human when we wish to live happily and fully. When we fight and resist feeling or experiencing these things, we create significantly more pain for ourselves.
• “What is then Camus’s reply to his question about whether or not to commit suicide? Full consciousness, avoiding false solutions such as religion, refusing to submit, and carrying on with vitality and intensity: these are Camus’s answers. This is how a life without ultimate meaning can be made worth living.”
Suicide is not an option because you wouldn’t be around anymore, you’d be dead.
If, as Camus believes, there is no afterlife then suicide is pointless. I feel that in dealing with absurdity, suicide is not an option. But there are perhaps very extreme cases where it would be understandable. I think that people do have limits in what they can take, and that there are perhaps limits on our spirits in the same way that there are limits on our physical bodies. Chronic illness, severe trauma, and other conditions are perhaps beyond the scope of our ability as humans to endure. Suicide may not be an option except in very rare cases. The alternative that Camus offers involves “Full consciousness, avoiding false solutions such as religion, refusing to submit, and carrying on with vitality and intensity…” I disagree with Camus that religion is false solution. If it helps one to battle suicidal ideation or urges in the face of absurdity, is that not an avenue with which to live ones life fully and with vigor?
• “That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness. At each of those moments when he leaves the heights and gradually sinks toward the lairs of the gods, he is superior to his fate. He is stronger than his rock.”
The image of Sisyphus straining with the entirety of his might to push his rock up the hill resonates with me deeply. I feel that this is an excellent representation of how mental illness as well as trauma can impact one’s life and ability to cope with the absurdity of life. I feel that for many years I have been attempting to work through what feels like the same struggle. I feel that when my PTSD is triggered I feel as though nothing has changed, as though I am looping back around to the same point in time (“One always finds one’s burden again.”). I find that this is the nature of coping with anxiety, depression, and trauma—we often have to revisit places in our hearts and minds that we feel we have been a thousand times over already. Depression makes me feel like I am finally seeing things clearly, that life is unfair and pointless and “Oh why even bother anyway?” It might could be viewed as an objective truth, that life is unfair. But even if that were true, is one better off for living by that truth, as Camus seems to believe, or would it be better to be ignorant if it meant you could create meaning in a meaningless existence? I find that the struggle itself is nowhere near enough for me—when I am so immersed in my struggle, it feels entirely self-defeating. At times I feel like my rock has slipped from my grasp and rolled right over me back down the hill. At other times, though, I feel that my rock is an incredible gift, and I value all that it has taught me and brought into my life, and I take pride in straining to keep it moving. As Camus writes, “If the descent is sometimes performed in sorrow, it can also take place in joy.” It seems laughable that joy could rise out of endless struggle and absurdity—however, I feel that based on my own experience, when I embrace the struggle and open myself to acceptance I allow happiness, enjoyment, and joy to meet futility, frustration, and loneliness. Camus highlights the duality that is present in life—”There is no sun without shadow, and it is essential to know the night.” Embracing the absurd and the entirety of the human experience is like opening all the windows in our mental house and clearing out the stuffy air—it is like a cleansing and releasing of the cognitive dissonance that arises when one keeps asking “Why?” Camus tosses that question out the window entirely, and suggests that we turn our attention to what is here and accessible to us on Earth. Camus states, “Where would his torture be, indeed, if at every step the hope of succeeding upheld him?” Hope and faith are powerful forces, and help to alleviate some of the pain that exists in the here and now. Although Camus believes that the struggle fills one’s heart, in my experience it is my mind that is filled. What fills my heart is moving beyond my struggle and looking towards the other—someone or something beyond myself. Community significantly, if not entirely alleviates the sense of absurdity and endless repetition that so insidiously creeps in to my psyche.
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